Part Five: Finally A Story That's All About Tigerlily... & Roger Meddows Taylor & John Deacon & Brian May & All of Her Siblings & The Rest of the Herd & Their Friends
Until Now, Brian has been a mental tard. Eventually, he will be cured. Until then we will concentrate on Tigerlily. To summarize, the story will be about Tigerlily.... and MANY others.
One Day Roger & Debbie were bored. 9 months later, there was Tigerlily.Then she grew up and did stuff. Tigerlily stuff, like taking ballet and BBQ cooking lessons. She decided that one day she would grow up to be a cashier. However, Roger said “No! You are not turning out to be like your ‘brother’” (aka Mr. S) and she was forced to be a spoiled rockstar kid instead. Then she shrugged and went to he own personal water park in her room. While lounging around in her pool, she read a copy of whatever was popular, whilst sipping a tall glass of FrenchChampagne and snacking on chocolate soufflé. Then Louisa came (who was hiding somewhere) and scared the crap out of Tigerlily and her champagne and soufflé flew EVERYWHERE! Tigerlily cried and ran to her ‘old man’ Roger. He got angry at Brian because he failed to properly contain his wild animals, then he bought Louisa and Emily Ruth for $587 each, and Louisa & Emily Ruth joined the kid herd after hitting Tigerlily with an iron skillet. The herd quickly accepted them and Robert got arrested for operating a vampire-sucking Shop-Vac™ without a license.
Anyways, Felix decided to read the Guinness Book of World records. He later decided to attempt building the biggest sandcastle in the world. He asked ER to help him bring buckets of sand. Whilst they were toiling to achieve sandcastle building greatness, ER fell in love with Rufus. She took off on Felix and ran away to Argentina with Rufus. They stole Roger’s coffee-table-mobile and drove off into the night.
Meanwhile, Roger had somehow ended up in a very tall Christmas tree (that yes tasted like grapefruit). After thinking for a while about how he got there, he remembered he’d bought more kids and went home to feed them beef.
Simultaneously, Tigerlily got a phone call from an unidentified person. Accidentallyhe said his name. It wasn’t Bob... it was Jeffrenitous Mc Stevenson-Willis Sr.!Tigerlily was so scared she started screaming. But not the high pitch scream you’d expect, it was very low. The noise attracted Felix, and he quickly stopped his work to find out what was going on. After he realized it was just Tigerlily being mental, he drafted Rory & Cameron to his castle-building cause and went back to work.
In the meantime, John had gotten a job at New York Fries but it WASN’T in New York! :O He was eating too much of their gravy, though, and he quickly got fired. Saddened, he went to visit the herd. Whilst on his visit he decided to help Felix build his castle. Felix worked him like a dog and John’s lungs collapsed when he passed out due to extreme exhaustion. Luckily Rory & Cameron got him to the hospital before he was dead. At the hospital Rory noticed how the walls and floors didn’t match and became angry. Then she left Cameron to help John by himself. The (not mental) nurse took good care of John and he got better in no time!*Later*Just as Felix put the finishing touches on his ÜBERCASTLE, the GuinnessRecords guy came in and tripped. He fell and demolished ÜBERCASTLE! (like you didn’t see that one coming...) Angry, Felix whistled and he and the herd (minus Rufus and ER) trampled Record guy. Then a police officer came and laughed at Record guy so hard he dropped all his donuts in the ruins of ÜBERCASTLE. Felix glared at him and preformed a flawless Roger-scream that burst the eardrums of everyone but the herd (they’re used to it, so they’re immune to its gruesome powers...). Then the police dude started doing the Mr. S twitch überfast. The kid herd quickly decide they were done with that, and they buried the cop and Records guy alive in all the sandcastle sand and ate the donuts. Then they made 57682 sand-angels and Luke began digging a very large hole with a rusty plastic spork.*somewhere else*Rufus & ER were walking around in Argentina when they founda talking orange pug named TED!Ted was orange because he was on fire! He quickly EXPLODED when Rufus dumped 639 gallons of petrol on him. Fortunately, Rufus did not die, but he still had a mental face with too big of eyes! (That’s why ER fell in love with him...)Meanwhile;3 different things happened at the same time:
1. Brian found a dinosaur and got 60 bazillion dollars
2. John finally left the hospital and went to take some classes at a barber college
3. The herd finally got some food, then they tried to eat Roger, but he got awayBack to Tigerlily:While all this was happening, Tigerlily decided to spend some of her dad’s millions by buying a dozen sports cars of various makes, models and colours. Then she decided to learn how to drive by taking lessons from Bo Duke. Unfortunately, she learned the wrong way because Bo’s American and Tigerlily’s British. She drove happily down the wrong side of the street and ended up killing 7 innocent duckies. It was then that Robert broke out of jail. He just so happened to come across one of Tigerlily’s cars, jumped in and rode into the night or day or morning or afternoon or whatever it is.*over there*Brian came home (to John’s fridge) and started renovating, since he had the cash to do that now. He soon got tired of this, though, and invited Roger who brought several different kinds of alcohol. They were soon hammered and began Sleeping on the Sidewalk. John came home with his barber degree and cut off most of the hair on the left side of Brian’s head. Then he yelled “What’s Going On?” really loud.Brian woke up suddenly and throwing gravel at John and ran to a wig store to cover his bald spot (all while crying).Roger woke up and laughed. Probably ‘cause he’s drunk... and Roger. Then he went and burned down the theatre. Unfortunately all the girls in the herd (and Cameron) were in there watching the (mental) Hannah Montana movie, making fun of it all the way through. They got out before they died, though. Just before they got out, Roger jumped into a cement truck and ran over Zack W and dumped a tonne of cement on him. Then he decided to be done with that, so he took his kids to the Portage Ex. However he began to become VERY angry when he found out they were getting rid of the horse/cow stuff so he killed the people in charge of the multiplex and set it on fire (with the help of the herd, of course.) Then he went to Natalie D’s house to buy her siblings. When Natalie D. found out she exclaimed, “That’s amazing!” and she never saw them again!MWAHAHAHAHA! Not really. Roger was going to fly back to England, but there wasn’t enough room on the plane, so he left the D. kids AT THEIR HOUSE! After that they never saw them again.*Anyways back to a place where people care about what’s going on*Back in wherever-Joshua-is land, Joshua was skateboarding on top of Buckingham Palace when his foot got stuck in a gutter. Then he fell into a Fisher Price™ water barrel.*away from the Madness*Brian & Tigerlily decided to start a school of Culinary Arts.*back to madness*While Joshua was stuck in a Fisher Price™ water barrel, Jimmy came (still in his Jimmy), hit the water barrel (which shattered to pieces) and sent Joshua flying into a rose bush. He didn’t cry though, because he’s tough like his pa. He then started to climb the fence surrounding the Palace before he got shot with a tazer gun, tangled in a barbed wire electric fence, then got dogs put out after him. Luckily he escaped them in the nic of time by climbing the same tree Roger woke up in Part One. Although he was in much pain, he didn’t complain, but simply yelled at Jimmy to go get him a ‘Fatboy’ from Jimmy’s Submarine (aka, that red and white striped restaurant next to a car dealership and across from Fas Gas) However, that did not happen cuz Jimmy disappeared (again).*back to Brian’s and Tigerlily’s Culinary Arts School*Some random person set a garbage can on fire then that same person met the kid herd’s feet (if you know what I mean) *somewhere else*Something happened.
TO BE CONTINUED (right away)
One Day Roger & Debbie were bored. 9 months later, there was Tigerlily.Then she grew up and did stuff. Tigerlily stuff, like taking ballet and BBQ cooking lessons. She decided that one day she would grow up to be a cashier. However, Roger said “No! You are not turning out to be like your ‘brother’” (aka Mr. S) and she was forced to be a spoiled rockstar kid instead. Then she shrugged and went to he own personal water park in her room. While lounging around in her pool, she read a copy of whatever was popular, whilst sipping a tall glass of FrenchChampagne and snacking on chocolate soufflé. Then Louisa came (who was hiding somewhere) and scared the crap out of Tigerlily and her champagne and soufflé flew EVERYWHERE! Tigerlily cried and ran to her ‘old man’ Roger. He got angry at Brian because he failed to properly contain his wild animals, then he bought Louisa and Emily Ruth for $587 each, and Louisa & Emily Ruth joined the kid herd after hitting Tigerlily with an iron skillet. The herd quickly accepted them and Robert got arrested for operating a vampire-sucking Shop-Vac™ without a license.
Anyways, Felix decided to read the Guinness Book of World records. He later decided to attempt building the biggest sandcastle in the world. He asked ER to help him bring buckets of sand. Whilst they were toiling to achieve sandcastle building greatness, ER fell in love with Rufus. She took off on Felix and ran away to Argentina with Rufus. They stole Roger’s coffee-table-mobile and drove off into the night.
Meanwhile, Roger had somehow ended up in a very tall Christmas tree (that yes tasted like grapefruit). After thinking for a while about how he got there, he remembered he’d bought more kids and went home to feed them beef.
Simultaneously, Tigerlily got a phone call from an unidentified person. Accidentallyhe said his name. It wasn’t Bob... it was Jeffrenitous Mc Stevenson-Willis Sr.!Tigerlily was so scared she started screaming. But not the high pitch scream you’d expect, it was very low. The noise attracted Felix, and he quickly stopped his work to find out what was going on. After he realized it was just Tigerlily being mental, he drafted Rory & Cameron to his castle-building cause and went back to work.
In the meantime, John had gotten a job at New York Fries but it WASN’T in New York! :O He was eating too much of their gravy, though, and he quickly got fired. Saddened, he went to visit the herd. Whilst on his visit he decided to help Felix build his castle. Felix worked him like a dog and John’s lungs collapsed when he passed out due to extreme exhaustion. Luckily Rory & Cameron got him to the hospital before he was dead. At the hospital Rory noticed how the walls and floors didn’t match and became angry. Then she left Cameron to help John by himself. The (not mental) nurse took good care of John and he got better in no time!*Later*Just as Felix put the finishing touches on his ÜBERCASTLE, the GuinnessRecords guy came in and tripped. He fell and demolished ÜBERCASTLE! (like you didn’t see that one coming...) Angry, Felix whistled and he and the herd (minus Rufus and ER) trampled Record guy. Then a police officer came and laughed at Record guy so hard he dropped all his donuts in the ruins of ÜBERCASTLE. Felix glared at him and preformed a flawless Roger-scream that burst the eardrums of everyone but the herd (they’re used to it, so they’re immune to its gruesome powers...). Then the police dude started doing the Mr. S twitch überfast. The kid herd quickly decide they were done with that, and they buried the cop and Records guy alive in all the sandcastle sand and ate the donuts. Then they made 57682 sand-angels and Luke began digging a very large hole with a rusty plastic spork.*somewhere else*Rufus & ER were walking around in Argentina when they founda talking orange pug named TED!Ted was orange because he was on fire! He quickly EXPLODED when Rufus dumped 639 gallons of petrol on him. Fortunately, Rufus did not die, but he still had a mental face with too big of eyes! (That’s why ER fell in love with him...)Meanwhile;3 different things happened at the same time:
1. Brian found a dinosaur and got 60 bazillion dollars
2. John finally left the hospital and went to take some classes at a barber college
3. The herd finally got some food, then they tried to eat Roger, but he got awayBack to Tigerlily:While all this was happening, Tigerlily decided to spend some of her dad’s millions by buying a dozen sports cars of various makes, models and colours. Then she decided to learn how to drive by taking lessons from Bo Duke. Unfortunately, she learned the wrong way because Bo’s American and Tigerlily’s British. She drove happily down the wrong side of the street and ended up killing 7 innocent duckies. It was then that Robert broke out of jail. He just so happened to come across one of Tigerlily’s cars, jumped in and rode into the night or day or morning or afternoon or whatever it is.*over there*Brian came home (to John’s fridge) and started renovating, since he had the cash to do that now. He soon got tired of this, though, and invited Roger who brought several different kinds of alcohol. They were soon hammered and began Sleeping on the Sidewalk. John came home with his barber degree and cut off most of the hair on the left side of Brian’s head. Then he yelled “What’s Going On?” really loud.Brian woke up suddenly and throwing gravel at John and ran to a wig store to cover his bald spot (all while crying).Roger woke up and laughed. Probably ‘cause he’s drunk... and Roger. Then he went and burned down the theatre. Unfortunately all the girls in the herd (and Cameron) were in there watching the (mental) Hannah Montana movie, making fun of it all the way through. They got out before they died, though. Just before they got out, Roger jumped into a cement truck and ran over Zack W and dumped a tonne of cement on him. Then he decided to be done with that, so he took his kids to the Portage Ex. However he began to become VERY angry when he found out they were getting rid of the horse/cow stuff so he killed the people in charge of the multiplex and set it on fire (with the help of the herd, of course.) Then he went to Natalie D’s house to buy her siblings. When Natalie D. found out she exclaimed, “That’s amazing!” and she never saw them again!MWAHAHAHAHA! Not really. Roger was going to fly back to England, but there wasn’t enough room on the plane, so he left the D. kids AT THEIR HOUSE! After that they never saw them again.*Anyways back to a place where people care about what’s going on*Back in wherever-Joshua-is land, Joshua was skateboarding on top of Buckingham Palace when his foot got stuck in a gutter. Then he fell into a Fisher Price™ water barrel.*away from the Madness*Brian & Tigerlily decided to start a school of Culinary Arts.*back to madness*While Joshua was stuck in a Fisher Price™ water barrel, Jimmy came (still in his Jimmy), hit the water barrel (which shattered to pieces) and sent Joshua flying into a rose bush. He didn’t cry though, because he’s tough like his pa. He then started to climb the fence surrounding the Palace before he got shot with a tazer gun, tangled in a barbed wire electric fence, then got dogs put out after him. Luckily he escaped them in the nic of time by climbing the same tree Roger woke up in Part One. Although he was in much pain, he didn’t complain, but simply yelled at Jimmy to go get him a ‘Fatboy’ from Jimmy’s Submarine (aka, that red and white striped restaurant next to a car dealership and across from Fas Gas) However, that did not happen cuz Jimmy disappeared (again).*back to Brian’s and Tigerlily’s Culinary Arts School*Some random person set a garbage can on fire then that same person met the kid herd’s feet (if you know what I mean) *somewhere else*Something happened.
TO BE CONTINUED (right away)
