The Uberstory of Uberkid
This is not the complete story, as the rest is yet to be written. It will, I guarantee it, be here at some point, but until then, enjoy the part of the story that is written. (Because it's pretty uber)
Also, it'll make a little more sense if you read "The Story of Rory..." and "The Ballad of Mr. Rufus and all his pals" first.
Also, it'll make a little more sense if you read "The Story of Rory..." and "The Ballad of Mr. Rufus and all his pals" first.
One day, on a nice HOT summer day, Felix was “gettin’ pretty sweaty” and he decided to invent ÜBERCOOL-DOWN-FAN. ÜBERCOOL-DOWN-FAN was the coolest, awesomest, überest fan ever made. It made you cool down ÜBERFAST, simply with the touch of a button. On the button, it said ÜBERBUTTON. Anyways, as you should know (if you don’t, read the stories of Roger Meddows Taylor & Friends) Felix is the ÜBERKID. He is also the creator & owner of the one, the only, the ÜBERCREATION COMPANY. So far, Felix has invented/created ÜBERCASTLE, ÜBERTANK, and other über things like ÜBERFOUNTAIN of ÜBERYOUTH, and ÜBERBACKHOE, as well as über stuff that is also useful. His next project was going to be… building ÜBERBOUNCY CASTLE! He quickly realized that to make such a thing, he must make it look like a castle, and it must be überbouncy. He got to work (über) quickly. He was done in 12 hours. Then he invited Rory & Rufus to bring their kids to play in ÜBERBOUNCY CASTLE. They had fun. Lots of fun. ÜBERFUN. ÜBERBOUNCY CASTLE fun.
*later*
Felix stopped by another one of his creations (sort of), ÜBERCLUB. He noticed it wasn’t as ÜBER as it could be, so he teamed up with his father to invent ÜBERVODKA, ÜBERWHISKEY, ÜBERWINE, and ÜBERBEER. When this was completed, Roger was happy. Very happy. Überhappy even. They celebrated by “testing” it. It was ÜBERGOOD. Roger the sold these at ÜBERCLUB, which made it even more ÜBER!! Felix then got to work on an übersecret creation for his mother.
*a few days later*
Felix had successfully completed ÜBERAWESOME ÉCLAIR MAKING-MACHINE and he gave it to his mother. She was (obviously) überhappy. She celebrated by making lots of ÜBERÉCLAIRS. Soon Roger came home and ate a lot of ÜBERÉCLAIRS. He fell unconscious from having to work so hard (eating éclairs). Felix just laughed at his übersilly father.
*later*
Felix was going to make a movie—ÜBERMOVIE, to be specific. He hired Harrison Ford & Keira Knightly, but Liv (aka Rufus’ wife) didn’t like Keira Knightly, so she punched her in the face, which ‘unfortunately’ broke her neck. Instead, Felix used somebody else. Who? I don’t know.
*months later*
Filming was now done. Now it was time for special/sound effects and whatnot. He decided to make ÜBERMOVIE more ÜBER by adding the ÜBERAWESOMEST MUSIC EVER! Get ready for it……. QUEEN MUSIC! Felix almost gave Roger a (Sheer) Heart Attack when he told him he wanted Queen Music for ÜBERMOVIE, but Roger just managed to handle the awesomeness. Felix decided to tell Brian & John about ÜBERMOVIE. Brian asked if there was a furore in the studio, and John said “Queen has lots of good music... you know?” (*note: John, I think he does*) Felix replied “no”, then “yes”. The Felix threw a big ÜBERPARTY to celebrate ÜBERMOVIE & Queen’s awesomeness. ÜBERPARTY was fun. Lots of fun. ÜBER(PARTY)FUN. At ÜBERPARTY, Felix was meeting all kinds of famous people. He even met the Queen, and he made sure to say hi to her for John, ‘cuz John was terribly shy and nervous. (The Queen really doesn’t have anything to do with the story, so she’s done with this). Then Felix saw the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. The most excellent, perfect, & most gorgeous sight…………… THE ÜBERBUFFET TABLE of ÜBERAPPETIZERS. He was ÜBERHAPPY!
Anyways, the party went ÜBERWELL. There was ÜBERGOOD MUSIC (aka Queen, for the most part anyways), ÜBERDRINKS (not ÜBERCLUB’s, because those are ÜBERCLUB’s, but the drinks were ÜBER none the less) and there was many other ÜBERAWESOME STUFF. Felix even got an ÜBERPRESENT from Roger—and ÜBERBIG SCREEN TV. Felix was quite happy. Not quite ÜBERHAPPY, but close. Then, he was all partied out, so he went home to his ÜBERMANSION and went to sleep in ÜBERCOMFY BED. He had an ÜBERAWESOME dream. In his ÜBERAWESOME dream, he dreamt of lots of ÜBER things he could make like: ÜBERVEHICLE(s). When he woke up, he made them. After he made the first two, he made something especially for Roger—ÜBERRACECAR. Then he hid it in ÜBERGARAGE. He would give it to Rogelio later. The he made other ÜBERVEHICLES like: ÜBERSTREET CAR, ÜBERSCHOOLBUS, ÜBERGOLFCART, ÜBERVAN, ÜBERTRUCK, ÜBERCAR, AND ÜBER-R.V., as well as many others (cuz he’s just that ÜBERAWESOME).
*later*
Felix was bored of making ÜBERVEHICLES, so he decided to make ÜBERHOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES, like ÜBERSINK, ÜBERTOASTER, ÜBERSTOVE, and ÜBERBLENDER. After that, he was beginning to get sick of making ÜBERstuff, so he took a break, on a vacation to the ÜBERAWESOME island of New Zealand, which was soon changed to ÜBERNEW ZEALAND. Whilst in ÜBERNEW ZEALAND, Felix toured the places where they filmed Lord of the Rings. Then he called Rufus on his ÜBERCELLPHONE to tell him. Rufus was jealous. He said “You suck” for no apparent reason and hung up. Felix was having so much fun in ÜBERNEW ZEALAND, he decided to leave. He went to ÜBERNICE (France) where he renamed many French or “French” things like: French fries -> ÜBERFRIES, French toast -> ÜBERTOAST, and French bread -> ÜBERFRENCHBREAD. Because Felix is part French, the French didn’t care (much). The he left. He went to the US, but quickly left there, too, because nothing is good enough to become ÜBER. (*this is added later*: except for Aerosmith [-Brad, of course]… and Joe Perry’s Friesians) He went home, because he was tired, and decided to watch his ÜBERMOVIE. He though it was ÜBER (because it was). Soon after, he got a phone call from the police (not the band) telling him his movie was illegal. Too many people, who couldn’t handle the ÜBERNESS, had died watching his ÜBERMOVIE. (*added later* which would be pretty much anybody who watched it, as Felix is just that uber.) This made Felix übersad, because he just was trying to help the world become more ÜBER. He had plans to make a sequel, but scratched that idea—he didn’t want to be responsible for the death of people. Dom came over as soon as she heard the news, and told him it’s not his fault that lots of People On Streets couldn’t handle the epic (& ÜBER) power of ÜBERMOVIE, just she said it in a less über way. (and she said it in French, which Felix could understand, ‘cuz he’s just that über.)
Felix then decided to hang out with his half sisters, Tigerlily and Lola, who aren’t awesome enough to have their own stories, but can have a guest appearance in this one. The 3 went to Jimmy’s (the restaurant) and ate food. When they left, it was ÜBERJIMMY’S. Then they watched part of ÜBERMOVIE, which almost killed Lola and made Tigerlily sick. On the way to the hospital (which would soon become ÜBERHOSPITAL) Felix got a call. Both of the main actors had died when they watched the movie. Felix was almost sad, but it turned out he was too ÜBER for that. He just made some juice, instead. Then a greedy Lola drank it all. Then he made some ÜBERCHOCOLATE SOUFFLÉ and ate it in front of her and Tigerlily, making them both very angry. To wash it down he drank ice tea -- ÜBERICETEA, and gave Lola ABSOLUTELY NONE! They got mad and told Roger who got mad at Dom for having an evil kid, then Dom kicked Roger in the pants, and gave Felix a big hug. Felix thought that was ÜBERAWKWARD, and poked his mommy in the eye with an ÜBERSHARP PENCIL. Roger laughed (even though he was in pain) and Felix gave him an ÜBERSTAREDOWN that was even more intense than Brian’s. “Don’t make me scream/sing!” threatened Roger. Felix backed off, but then remembered “I AM ÜBERKID!” so he ran up and punched Roger in the mouth. Roger got mad, and he tried to scream/sing but his jaw was broken. Felix felt überbad, so he made ÜBERJAWFIXINGMACHINE. He gave it to Roger, but Roger didn’t know how to use it, as he was still freaking out about his broken jaw. Felix worked it for him, and when Roger’s jaw began working again, he punched Felix in the gut, and then hugged him. Then Roger was overcome by a wave of sleepiness, so he went to bed. Anyways, Felix, still feeling kinda bad about breaking Rogelio’s jaw, began working on ÜBERMEDICAL STUFF like: ÜBERASPIRIN, ÜBERADVIL, ÜBERTYLENOL, ÜBERTHERMAL MUSCLE PAIN RELIEVING PATCHES, and übermuch more. He soon became bored of that, so he made ÜBERGARDENING SUPPLIES for the kid herd’s gardening center, like: ÜBERSHOVEL, ÜBERTROWLE, ÜBERPOTTING SOIL, ÜBERSEEDS, ÜBERGARDENING GLOVES, ÜBERGARDEN HOSE, ÜBERSPADE, ÜBERFERTILIZER, ÜBERGARDEN GNOME, & ÜBERFLOWER POT, and the already invented ÜBERBACKHOE. He decided to rename the kid herd’s garden center, ÜBERGARDENCENTER. After this he decided to made another ÜBER thing before going on ÜBERVACATION. He would create the ÜBERSITE, simply called www.ubercreationcompany.com . (*caution, not a real link*) It would contain all things ÜBER!
*quite later*
As Felix was adding the finishing touches to ÜBERSITE, he decided he needed an übercool logo, so he asked Freddie to design one. It was über, it looked like… (imagine übercooltastic logo here)
Felix was getting sick and tired of making ÜBER things, and realizing that was not über or good, he took a vacation. He decided to go to the Caribbean.
*at the Caribbean*
Since Felix had lots of silent time, he began thinking. He thought about many things, some über, some not. He realized something, or someone, was missing. He was lonely. Not as in a puppy when it’s by itself, but as in he wanted to find a wife. So, he set out on a journey to find his ÜBERWIFE.
*later on*
During Felix’s search for his ÜBERWIFE, he realized he didn’t have one, because he didn’t like girls. He liked guys. NOT! (*note: no that he can’t be gay, or it’s totally wrong, but real-life Felix isn’t gay, at least to our knowledge, so story Felix isn’t either*)
*now, real later on*
Felix was having an überhard time finding his ÜBERWIFE. He was beginning to get überfrustrated. Whilst on his journey, he met up with Rufus & Liv. They began talking about how ÜBERICE CREAM COMPANY wasn’t as ÜBER as it used to be. (NOOOOO!) Felix then renamed it ÜBERICE CRÈME COMPANY. Soon ÜICC was doing übergood. Anyways, Felix left to continue searching for ÜBERWIFE.
*afterward*
Whilst on Felix’s ÜBERJOURNEY to find ÜBERWIFE, he pulled a Rufus and fell in Love with His Car Avril Lavigne. He soon found out she was married, and became übercrushed. To try and win her heart, he made ÜBERPRODUCTS for her like: ÜBERSTRAIGHTENING IRON, ÜBERCURLING IRON, ÜBEREYELINER, ÜBERMASCARA, ÜBERNAIL POLISH, ÜBERHIGH HEELS, amongst many other others, with the help of Lola & Tigerlily (cuz they know things about girlie stuff). When Avril found out, she became überhappy. Then she suddenly decided she still loved that guy she’s married to (aka, Deryck Whibley), so she proposed to Felix. Felix realized that she is mental (sorta) so he left to continue his ÜBERJOURNEY to find ÜBERWIFE. *on the road*
Felix decided he was too lonely to wait until he found someone to be ÜBERWIFE, so he went to “The Dog Rescue Center That Was Inspired by and is Dedicated to Überskinny Puppy with Rabies” to find a dog.
*when he got there*
Felix found THE GREATEST! dog ever! It was Übersquish! Felix & Übersquish then kept looking for an ÜBERWIFE for Felix.
*later on, wherever Felix showed up*
Felix & Übersquish had found the perfect gal for ÜBERWIFE! She was so incredibly awesome… so ÜBER… She was… Veronica Tetzlaff!
Just kidding! (cuz that’s gross)
Seriously though, he did find someone. She was Kristen S! He didn’t marry her though; he just found her. Then he continued on his quest with überswish.
*later (again)*
Felix still had not found ÜBERWIFE. He was beginning to get ÜBERFUSTRATED & ÜBERANGRY. So, thinking like his father, he went to ÜBERCLUB and drank ÜBERLOTS of ÜBERALCOHOL & ÜBERPRETZELS (cuz he was ÜBERHUNGRY too). Roger came in and took a spaz on Felix for bringing pretzels into his bar/pub/club thing. Then he realized that was a good idea. TARD. Roger then bought 60 hundred million ÜBERPRETZELS for ÜBERCLUB.
*later*
Felix now had more money than he’d had before because of Roger’s pretzel shopping spree. He decided he’d give up on looking for ÜBERWIFE… He’d BUILD her instead! He did, with Brian & John’s (& whoever else’s) help. When it was complete he used the ÜBERLIFEGIVINGMACHINE he had made. This turned out to be a horrible mistake. She sounded like Janice from Friends, had Anita hair (O.O Run away & gouge out your eyes!!) & some other horrible features. Then Dr. Phil came, fell in love with her, and they ran off. That plan FAILED. Felix became ÜBERSAD, and began telling himself he’d never find ÜBERWIFE. (Poor Felix) *but don’t worry, he didn’t become depressed, he’s not Brian’s kids.* Suddenly a beautiful sight emerged from wherever it’s been before. Felix was instantly smitten. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. It was… an ice cream sandwich! Felix was in love with his sandwich, & promised it he’d take care of it forever. He took it out for lunch, and then brought it to Dom & Roger to show them he’d found the Love of his Life. Bad idea. Roger, thinking Felix had brought him a snack, devoured Felix’s ice cream sandwich. Felix was MORTIFIED! Just then another thing came out from where it was. This time it was… LAURA! SHE WAS ALIVE! But this Laura wasn’t like old Laura. This Laura WAS not A VAMPIRE! Since Felix was ÜBERLONELY, Felix & Laura decided to watch the ÜBERMOVIE! Laura actually survived! And enjoyed ÜBERMOVIE, and Felix instantly fell for her. The two decided to get married. They told John, who got angry & yelled “WHY CAN’T MY CHILDREN GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO ISN’T ROGER’S KID!?!” But he soon realized that Laura & Felix actually seemed to like eachother a bit, so he decided it was ok. (Good ol’ John…) They had a wedding. But not just any wedding—ÜBERWEDDING. Everyone (from Queen, Aerosmith, & the Queen member’s kids & their kids’ spouses & children) were invited! It was an incredibly ÜBERWEDDING—it had many ÜBERFOODS, ÜBERDRINKS, & much more. And just for Laura, Felix created ÜBERWEDDING DRESS (actually no, Tiger Lily helped cuz Felix can’t see it before the wedding) ÜBERBROOCH, ÜBERFLOWER BOUQUET, ÜBERWEDDING RING, and more! This made Laura INCREDIBLY ÜBER ECSTATIC! The wedding started, and before Laura came out, everybody in the ‘audience’ got little übergifts from Penny, Olivia, & Carrie, the flower girls. The gifts were übertrinkets like tiny ÜBERSANDCASTLE REPLICAS, and framed pictures of ÜBERROADBLOCK, as well as stuffed ÜBERTANK toys (they’re stuffed so they’ll be safe for babies). Everyone was überhappy! Then Laura came and Felix almost passed out because of all the ÜBERWEDDING STUFF on Laura (ÜBERWEDDINGDRESS, etc.) Then they went through all the technical wedding stuff. Every sentence in Felix’s vows included “über” three times. This impressed Laura. Then, suddenly, they were officially married! Felix gave Laura ÜBERWEDDING RING, and then Laura threw her ÜBERBOUQUET, which was caught by a very proud & happy Veronica. Dom really wanted it though, so the two launched into a brutal battle for ÜBERBOUQUET! Fortunately, ÜBERBOUQUET was über enough to get split in half (so both moms could have some) and still be more über than a regular bouquet. Then Felix & Laura ran off, got into ÜBER “JUST MARRIED” LIMO and drove off into the sunset.
The End.
NOT!
They drove all the way to ÜBERNEW ZEALAND & had a nifty honeymoon there. An ÜBERHONEYMOON even.
*later*
When they were done their ÜBERHONEYMOON they went back to Felix’s house. They played Twilight Princess on Felix’s übermonsterous tevelision (because Laura wanted to) and ate ÜBERSNACKS YOU EAT WHEN YOU’RE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. This made Laura & Felix überhappy. Then they happily killed themselves. JUST KIDDING!
*later*
Later they found out Laura was gonna have kids. ÜBERKIDS (but not überdorktastic übersmallbabies). Felix was WAAY ÜBERHAPPY! He quickly got to work building ÜBERNURSERY, ÜBERCHANGE-TABLE, ÜBERDIAPER DISPOSAL, ÜBERBABY POWDER, ÜBERSTROLLER, and many other ÜBER! baby things. Laura helped him a bit, but eventually she got too fat to be helpful. One day, Felix woke up & realized Laura was in pain. She’d been trying to wake him up for 3 ½ hours, but Felix was having an ÜBERRESTFUL SLEEP in him ÜBERCOMFY BED, having ÜBERPLEASANT DREAMS, and didn’t notice Laura. When he finally awoke, he realized Laura was having her baby (and Felix’s) baby! Felix started freaking out because he didn’t want Laura to make an ÜBERGROSS BABY-HAVING MESS all over his (and Laura’s) ÜBERHOUSE! He was smart enough to take her to take her to the hospital. Plus, he was also nice enough to stay there with her. (Totally not like his pa). Sooner or later Laura was done, and she (and Felix) had a wonderful Non-ÜBERDORKTASTIC ÜBERSMALL BABY girl! They names her something incredibly ÜBER! They called her Victoria Meddows Taylor. John & Ronnie & Dom thought this was a great name, but Roger didn’t get where the “Meddows” came from (cuz he’s drunk) tard. When Dom explained it, Felix realized his pa is überdumbtastic. So, Felix made the ÜBERSMART MEDICATION. It wouldn’t make you Brian or Einstein smart, but smart like John (which is smart, btw).
*Anyways, back to VMT & Laura*
They were having fun (somehow) at the hospital, and were sad when Felix brought them home. Felix had made überlots of ÜBERBABY STUFF, and VMT got überlots of really awesome überstuff when she came home. She was an überspoiled übersmall kidlett. Then Felix made an ÜBERTASTY LUNCH. The ÜBERFAMILY were ÜBERHAPPY. Then it dawned on Felix that he was now ÜBERDAD. He got kinda freaked out, and hid in a closet. Laura soon noticed Felix’s disappearance and became ÜBERWORRIED. She came across him one day as she was cleaning the house. She lured him out with the promise of cake. Then she suddenly remembered it was Felix’s birthday! She went out and bought ÜBERBIRTHDAY PRESENT & ÜBERSHINY GIFT BAG. Then she wrapped it in ÜBERGIFT WRAPPING PAPER. Then she made ÜBERBIRTHDAY CARD using ÜBERBIRTHDAY CARD MAKING KIT. Finally she made and decorated ÜBERBIRTHDAY CAKE. Then she threw ÜBERBIRTHDAY PARTY for Felix! Everyone who was somehow related to Felix or Laura was invited. Brian was invited too. They were having ÜBERLOTS of ÜBERFUN until Roger (who’d had a bit too much to drink already) decided it would be a good idea to violently chuck Victoria into ÜBERBIRTHDAY CAKE. Everyone got ÜBERANGRY for a) ruining Laura’s epic cake, and b) for violently chucking Laura’s (and Felix’s) baby. Everyone attacked Roger at once. Since Roger was drunk, he felt no pain—yet.
*Anyways*
After getting Victoria out of the cake (who was fine, btw), they dumped Roger into it (who thought this was more good than bad). Then they had fun. Überfun. But not as much Überfun as before.
*the next day*
When Rog woke up, he was in ÜBERLOTS of extreme pain, so Dom brought (who was mad at him) Roger to the hospital. When Rogellio found out what he had done, he promised he would change (just like he promised to get exercise equipment, but that never happened). This made everyone überhappy, but not enough to spell it with capitals. Roger then treated Felix, Laura, and Victoria to ice crème cake.
There is still more to come, but it is not written yet, so it is not here yet.
*later*
Felix stopped by another one of his creations (sort of), ÜBERCLUB. He noticed it wasn’t as ÜBER as it could be, so he teamed up with his father to invent ÜBERVODKA, ÜBERWHISKEY, ÜBERWINE, and ÜBERBEER. When this was completed, Roger was happy. Very happy. Überhappy even. They celebrated by “testing” it. It was ÜBERGOOD. Roger the sold these at ÜBERCLUB, which made it even more ÜBER!! Felix then got to work on an übersecret creation for his mother.
*a few days later*
Felix had successfully completed ÜBERAWESOME ÉCLAIR MAKING-MACHINE and he gave it to his mother. She was (obviously) überhappy. She celebrated by making lots of ÜBERÉCLAIRS. Soon Roger came home and ate a lot of ÜBERÉCLAIRS. He fell unconscious from having to work so hard (eating éclairs). Felix just laughed at his übersilly father.
*later*
Felix was going to make a movie—ÜBERMOVIE, to be specific. He hired Harrison Ford & Keira Knightly, but Liv (aka Rufus’ wife) didn’t like Keira Knightly, so she punched her in the face, which ‘unfortunately’ broke her neck. Instead, Felix used somebody else. Who? I don’t know.
*months later*
Filming was now done. Now it was time for special/sound effects and whatnot. He decided to make ÜBERMOVIE more ÜBER by adding the ÜBERAWESOMEST MUSIC EVER! Get ready for it……. QUEEN MUSIC! Felix almost gave Roger a (Sheer) Heart Attack when he told him he wanted Queen Music for ÜBERMOVIE, but Roger just managed to handle the awesomeness. Felix decided to tell Brian & John about ÜBERMOVIE. Brian asked if there was a furore in the studio, and John said “Queen has lots of good music... you know?” (*note: John, I think he does*) Felix replied “no”, then “yes”. The Felix threw a big ÜBERPARTY to celebrate ÜBERMOVIE & Queen’s awesomeness. ÜBERPARTY was fun. Lots of fun. ÜBER(PARTY)FUN. At ÜBERPARTY, Felix was meeting all kinds of famous people. He even met the Queen, and he made sure to say hi to her for John, ‘cuz John was terribly shy and nervous. (The Queen really doesn’t have anything to do with the story, so she’s done with this). Then Felix saw the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. The most excellent, perfect, & most gorgeous sight…………… THE ÜBERBUFFET TABLE of ÜBERAPPETIZERS. He was ÜBERHAPPY!
Anyways, the party went ÜBERWELL. There was ÜBERGOOD MUSIC (aka Queen, for the most part anyways), ÜBERDRINKS (not ÜBERCLUB’s, because those are ÜBERCLUB’s, but the drinks were ÜBER none the less) and there was many other ÜBERAWESOME STUFF. Felix even got an ÜBERPRESENT from Roger—and ÜBERBIG SCREEN TV. Felix was quite happy. Not quite ÜBERHAPPY, but close. Then, he was all partied out, so he went home to his ÜBERMANSION and went to sleep in ÜBERCOMFY BED. He had an ÜBERAWESOME dream. In his ÜBERAWESOME dream, he dreamt of lots of ÜBER things he could make like: ÜBERVEHICLE(s). When he woke up, he made them. After he made the first two, he made something especially for Roger—ÜBERRACECAR. Then he hid it in ÜBERGARAGE. He would give it to Rogelio later. The he made other ÜBERVEHICLES like: ÜBERSTREET CAR, ÜBERSCHOOLBUS, ÜBERGOLFCART, ÜBERVAN, ÜBERTRUCK, ÜBERCAR, AND ÜBER-R.V., as well as many others (cuz he’s just that ÜBERAWESOME).
*later*
Felix was bored of making ÜBERVEHICLES, so he decided to make ÜBERHOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES, like ÜBERSINK, ÜBERTOASTER, ÜBERSTOVE, and ÜBERBLENDER. After that, he was beginning to get sick of making ÜBERstuff, so he took a break, on a vacation to the ÜBERAWESOME island of New Zealand, which was soon changed to ÜBERNEW ZEALAND. Whilst in ÜBERNEW ZEALAND, Felix toured the places where they filmed Lord of the Rings. Then he called Rufus on his ÜBERCELLPHONE to tell him. Rufus was jealous. He said “You suck” for no apparent reason and hung up. Felix was having so much fun in ÜBERNEW ZEALAND, he decided to leave. He went to ÜBERNICE (France) where he renamed many French or “French” things like: French fries -> ÜBERFRIES, French toast -> ÜBERTOAST, and French bread -> ÜBERFRENCHBREAD. Because Felix is part French, the French didn’t care (much). The he left. He went to the US, but quickly left there, too, because nothing is good enough to become ÜBER. (*this is added later*: except for Aerosmith [-Brad, of course]… and Joe Perry’s Friesians) He went home, because he was tired, and decided to watch his ÜBERMOVIE. He though it was ÜBER (because it was). Soon after, he got a phone call from the police (not the band) telling him his movie was illegal. Too many people, who couldn’t handle the ÜBERNESS, had died watching his ÜBERMOVIE. (*added later* which would be pretty much anybody who watched it, as Felix is just that uber.) This made Felix übersad, because he just was trying to help the world become more ÜBER. He had plans to make a sequel, but scratched that idea—he didn’t want to be responsible for the death of people. Dom came over as soon as she heard the news, and told him it’s not his fault that lots of People On Streets couldn’t handle the epic (& ÜBER) power of ÜBERMOVIE, just she said it in a less über way. (and she said it in French, which Felix could understand, ‘cuz he’s just that über.)
Felix then decided to hang out with his half sisters, Tigerlily and Lola, who aren’t awesome enough to have their own stories, but can have a guest appearance in this one. The 3 went to Jimmy’s (the restaurant) and ate food. When they left, it was ÜBERJIMMY’S. Then they watched part of ÜBERMOVIE, which almost killed Lola and made Tigerlily sick. On the way to the hospital (which would soon become ÜBERHOSPITAL) Felix got a call. Both of the main actors had died when they watched the movie. Felix was almost sad, but it turned out he was too ÜBER for that. He just made some juice, instead. Then a greedy Lola drank it all. Then he made some ÜBERCHOCOLATE SOUFFLÉ and ate it in front of her and Tigerlily, making them both very angry. To wash it down he drank ice tea -- ÜBERICETEA, and gave Lola ABSOLUTELY NONE! They got mad and told Roger who got mad at Dom for having an evil kid, then Dom kicked Roger in the pants, and gave Felix a big hug. Felix thought that was ÜBERAWKWARD, and poked his mommy in the eye with an ÜBERSHARP PENCIL. Roger laughed (even though he was in pain) and Felix gave him an ÜBERSTAREDOWN that was even more intense than Brian’s. “Don’t make me scream/sing!” threatened Roger. Felix backed off, but then remembered “I AM ÜBERKID!” so he ran up and punched Roger in the mouth. Roger got mad, and he tried to scream/sing but his jaw was broken. Felix felt überbad, so he made ÜBERJAWFIXINGMACHINE. He gave it to Roger, but Roger didn’t know how to use it, as he was still freaking out about his broken jaw. Felix worked it for him, and when Roger’s jaw began working again, he punched Felix in the gut, and then hugged him. Then Roger was overcome by a wave of sleepiness, so he went to bed. Anyways, Felix, still feeling kinda bad about breaking Rogelio’s jaw, began working on ÜBERMEDICAL STUFF like: ÜBERASPIRIN, ÜBERADVIL, ÜBERTYLENOL, ÜBERTHERMAL MUSCLE PAIN RELIEVING PATCHES, and übermuch more. He soon became bored of that, so he made ÜBERGARDENING SUPPLIES for the kid herd’s gardening center, like: ÜBERSHOVEL, ÜBERTROWLE, ÜBERPOTTING SOIL, ÜBERSEEDS, ÜBERGARDENING GLOVES, ÜBERGARDEN HOSE, ÜBERSPADE, ÜBERFERTILIZER, ÜBERGARDEN GNOME, & ÜBERFLOWER POT, and the already invented ÜBERBACKHOE. He decided to rename the kid herd’s garden center, ÜBERGARDENCENTER. After this he decided to made another ÜBER thing before going on ÜBERVACATION. He would create the ÜBERSITE, simply called www.ubercreationcompany.com . (*caution, not a real link*) It would contain all things ÜBER!
*quite later*
As Felix was adding the finishing touches to ÜBERSITE, he decided he needed an übercool logo, so he asked Freddie to design one. It was über, it looked like… (imagine übercooltastic logo here)
Felix was getting sick and tired of making ÜBER things, and realizing that was not über or good, he took a vacation. He decided to go to the Caribbean.
*at the Caribbean*
Since Felix had lots of silent time, he began thinking. He thought about many things, some über, some not. He realized something, or someone, was missing. He was lonely. Not as in a puppy when it’s by itself, but as in he wanted to find a wife. So, he set out on a journey to find his ÜBERWIFE.
*later on*
During Felix’s search for his ÜBERWIFE, he realized he didn’t have one, because he didn’t like girls. He liked guys. NOT! (*note: no that he can’t be gay, or it’s totally wrong, but real-life Felix isn’t gay, at least to our knowledge, so story Felix isn’t either*)
*now, real later on*
Felix was having an überhard time finding his ÜBERWIFE. He was beginning to get überfrustrated. Whilst on his journey, he met up with Rufus & Liv. They began talking about how ÜBERICE CREAM COMPANY wasn’t as ÜBER as it used to be. (NOOOOO!) Felix then renamed it ÜBERICE CRÈME COMPANY. Soon ÜICC was doing übergood. Anyways, Felix left to continue searching for ÜBERWIFE.
*afterward*
Whilst on Felix’s ÜBERJOURNEY to find ÜBERWIFE, he pulled a Rufus and fell in Love with His Car Avril Lavigne. He soon found out she was married, and became übercrushed. To try and win her heart, he made ÜBERPRODUCTS for her like: ÜBERSTRAIGHTENING IRON, ÜBERCURLING IRON, ÜBEREYELINER, ÜBERMASCARA, ÜBERNAIL POLISH, ÜBERHIGH HEELS, amongst many other others, with the help of Lola & Tigerlily (cuz they know things about girlie stuff). When Avril found out, she became überhappy. Then she suddenly decided she still loved that guy she’s married to (aka, Deryck Whibley), so she proposed to Felix. Felix realized that she is mental (sorta) so he left to continue his ÜBERJOURNEY to find ÜBERWIFE. *on the road*
Felix decided he was too lonely to wait until he found someone to be ÜBERWIFE, so he went to “The Dog Rescue Center That Was Inspired by and is Dedicated to Überskinny Puppy with Rabies” to find a dog.
*when he got there*
Felix found THE GREATEST! dog ever! It was Übersquish! Felix & Übersquish then kept looking for an ÜBERWIFE for Felix.
*later on, wherever Felix showed up*
Felix & Übersquish had found the perfect gal for ÜBERWIFE! She was so incredibly awesome… so ÜBER… She was… Veronica Tetzlaff!
Just kidding! (cuz that’s gross)
Seriously though, he did find someone. She was Kristen S! He didn’t marry her though; he just found her. Then he continued on his quest with überswish.
*later (again)*
Felix still had not found ÜBERWIFE. He was beginning to get ÜBERFUSTRATED & ÜBERANGRY. So, thinking like his father, he went to ÜBERCLUB and drank ÜBERLOTS of ÜBERALCOHOL & ÜBERPRETZELS (cuz he was ÜBERHUNGRY too). Roger came in and took a spaz on Felix for bringing pretzels into his bar/pub/club thing. Then he realized that was a good idea. TARD. Roger then bought 60 hundred million ÜBERPRETZELS for ÜBERCLUB.
*later*
Felix now had more money than he’d had before because of Roger’s pretzel shopping spree. He decided he’d give up on looking for ÜBERWIFE… He’d BUILD her instead! He did, with Brian & John’s (& whoever else’s) help. When it was complete he used the ÜBERLIFEGIVINGMACHINE he had made. This turned out to be a horrible mistake. She sounded like Janice from Friends, had Anita hair (O.O Run away & gouge out your eyes!!) & some other horrible features. Then Dr. Phil came, fell in love with her, and they ran off. That plan FAILED. Felix became ÜBERSAD, and began telling himself he’d never find ÜBERWIFE. (Poor Felix) *but don’t worry, he didn’t become depressed, he’s not Brian’s kids.* Suddenly a beautiful sight emerged from wherever it’s been before. Felix was instantly smitten. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. It was… an ice cream sandwich! Felix was in love with his sandwich, & promised it he’d take care of it forever. He took it out for lunch, and then brought it to Dom & Roger to show them he’d found the Love of his Life. Bad idea. Roger, thinking Felix had brought him a snack, devoured Felix’s ice cream sandwich. Felix was MORTIFIED! Just then another thing came out from where it was. This time it was… LAURA! SHE WAS ALIVE! But this Laura wasn’t like old Laura. This Laura WAS not A VAMPIRE! Since Felix was ÜBERLONELY, Felix & Laura decided to watch the ÜBERMOVIE! Laura actually survived! And enjoyed ÜBERMOVIE, and Felix instantly fell for her. The two decided to get married. They told John, who got angry & yelled “WHY CAN’T MY CHILDREN GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO ISN’T ROGER’S KID!?!” But he soon realized that Laura & Felix actually seemed to like eachother a bit, so he decided it was ok. (Good ol’ John…) They had a wedding. But not just any wedding—ÜBERWEDDING. Everyone (from Queen, Aerosmith, & the Queen member’s kids & their kids’ spouses & children) were invited! It was an incredibly ÜBERWEDDING—it had many ÜBERFOODS, ÜBERDRINKS, & much more. And just for Laura, Felix created ÜBERWEDDING DRESS (actually no, Tiger Lily helped cuz Felix can’t see it before the wedding) ÜBERBROOCH, ÜBERFLOWER BOUQUET, ÜBERWEDDING RING, and more! This made Laura INCREDIBLY ÜBER ECSTATIC! The wedding started, and before Laura came out, everybody in the ‘audience’ got little übergifts from Penny, Olivia, & Carrie, the flower girls. The gifts were übertrinkets like tiny ÜBERSANDCASTLE REPLICAS, and framed pictures of ÜBERROADBLOCK, as well as stuffed ÜBERTANK toys (they’re stuffed so they’ll be safe for babies). Everyone was überhappy! Then Laura came and Felix almost passed out because of all the ÜBERWEDDING STUFF on Laura (ÜBERWEDDINGDRESS, etc.) Then they went through all the technical wedding stuff. Every sentence in Felix’s vows included “über” three times. This impressed Laura. Then, suddenly, they were officially married! Felix gave Laura ÜBERWEDDING RING, and then Laura threw her ÜBERBOUQUET, which was caught by a very proud & happy Veronica. Dom really wanted it though, so the two launched into a brutal battle for ÜBERBOUQUET! Fortunately, ÜBERBOUQUET was über enough to get split in half (so both moms could have some) and still be more über than a regular bouquet. Then Felix & Laura ran off, got into ÜBER “JUST MARRIED” LIMO and drove off into the sunset.
The End.
NOT!
They drove all the way to ÜBERNEW ZEALAND & had a nifty honeymoon there. An ÜBERHONEYMOON even.
*later*
When they were done their ÜBERHONEYMOON they went back to Felix’s house. They played Twilight Princess on Felix’s übermonsterous tevelision (because Laura wanted to) and ate ÜBERSNACKS YOU EAT WHEN YOU’RE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. This made Laura & Felix überhappy. Then they happily killed themselves. JUST KIDDING!
*later*
Later they found out Laura was gonna have kids. ÜBERKIDS (but not überdorktastic übersmallbabies). Felix was WAAY ÜBERHAPPY! He quickly got to work building ÜBERNURSERY, ÜBERCHANGE-TABLE, ÜBERDIAPER DISPOSAL, ÜBERBABY POWDER, ÜBERSTROLLER, and many other ÜBER! baby things. Laura helped him a bit, but eventually she got too fat to be helpful. One day, Felix woke up & realized Laura was in pain. She’d been trying to wake him up for 3 ½ hours, but Felix was having an ÜBERRESTFUL SLEEP in him ÜBERCOMFY BED, having ÜBERPLEASANT DREAMS, and didn’t notice Laura. When he finally awoke, he realized Laura was having her baby (and Felix’s) baby! Felix started freaking out because he didn’t want Laura to make an ÜBERGROSS BABY-HAVING MESS all over his (and Laura’s) ÜBERHOUSE! He was smart enough to take her to take her to the hospital. Plus, he was also nice enough to stay there with her. (Totally not like his pa). Sooner or later Laura was done, and she (and Felix) had a wonderful Non-ÜBERDORKTASTIC ÜBERSMALL BABY girl! They names her something incredibly ÜBER! They called her Victoria Meddows Taylor. John & Ronnie & Dom thought this was a great name, but Roger didn’t get where the “Meddows” came from (cuz he’s drunk) tard. When Dom explained it, Felix realized his pa is überdumbtastic. So, Felix made the ÜBERSMART MEDICATION. It wouldn’t make you Brian or Einstein smart, but smart like John (which is smart, btw).
*Anyways, back to VMT & Laura*
They were having fun (somehow) at the hospital, and were sad when Felix brought them home. Felix had made überlots of ÜBERBABY STUFF, and VMT got überlots of really awesome überstuff when she came home. She was an überspoiled übersmall kidlett. Then Felix made an ÜBERTASTY LUNCH. The ÜBERFAMILY were ÜBERHAPPY. Then it dawned on Felix that he was now ÜBERDAD. He got kinda freaked out, and hid in a closet. Laura soon noticed Felix’s disappearance and became ÜBERWORRIED. She came across him one day as she was cleaning the house. She lured him out with the promise of cake. Then she suddenly remembered it was Felix’s birthday! She went out and bought ÜBERBIRTHDAY PRESENT & ÜBERSHINY GIFT BAG. Then she wrapped it in ÜBERGIFT WRAPPING PAPER. Then she made ÜBERBIRTHDAY CARD using ÜBERBIRTHDAY CARD MAKING KIT. Finally she made and decorated ÜBERBIRTHDAY CAKE. Then she threw ÜBERBIRTHDAY PARTY for Felix! Everyone who was somehow related to Felix or Laura was invited. Brian was invited too. They were having ÜBERLOTS of ÜBERFUN until Roger (who’d had a bit too much to drink already) decided it would be a good idea to violently chuck Victoria into ÜBERBIRTHDAY CAKE. Everyone got ÜBERANGRY for a) ruining Laura’s epic cake, and b) for violently chucking Laura’s (and Felix’s) baby. Everyone attacked Roger at once. Since Roger was drunk, he felt no pain—yet.
*Anyways*
After getting Victoria out of the cake (who was fine, btw), they dumped Roger into it (who thought this was more good than bad). Then they had fun. Überfun. But not as much Überfun as before.
*the next day*
When Rog woke up, he was in ÜBERLOTS of extreme pain, so Dom brought (who was mad at him) Roger to the hospital. When Rogellio found out what he had done, he promised he would change (just like he promised to get exercise equipment, but that never happened). This made everyone überhappy, but not enough to spell it with capitals. Roger then treated Felix, Laura, and Victoria to ice crème cake.
There is still more to come, but it is not written yet, so it is not here yet.
