The Story of Rory (& Joshua & Kids & others)
One day, on a very nice summer day, Rory & Joshua took their triplets to the park for a big, fun play! They had fun! Lots of fun! ÜBERFUN! Sandbox fun. Then they went to Chuck-E-Cheese’s for lunch. The kids had fun. Lots of fun. ÜBERFUN! Lunchtime fun. After lunch, they went to a carnival but they didn’t have fun. The carnies were very scary. So they went to the library. Rory & Joshua had fun. Lots of fun. Book reading fun. Soon they got kicked out because Dale was trying to eat the Barney books cuz he doesn’t like Barney. Olivia got mad (because she likes the library) and ran away from home. That didn’t last long, though, because she didn’t know how to since she’s only 5 or something, so she got lost. A hobo found her & brought her home.
*in Carrie land*
Carrie had gone to her grandpa John’s house to build electronic things. When John found out, instead of becoming ÜBERANGRY like Roger, he was ÜBERHAPPY! So happy, he bought her a Deaky inspired outfit (aka Deaky blue and tight clothing) Then, both wearing their designer Deaky clothes, they built a computer from scratch. They had fun. Lots of fun. ÜBERFUN! Computer building fun. Then after they were done they went out for an ice cream cake.
*the world of Dale*
Dale had been grounded for getting THE (other) DEACONS kicked out of the library. This meant he could not have friends over, go to friends’ houses, or have parties. When Roger heard about this, he snuck Dale out of the house unnoticed. Roger & Dale went to Roger’s house (wherever that was since he sold his house to Rory not long ago) and had a big party. Then Roger realized he had a big responsibility—he needed to keep family tradition! He told Dale dirty jokes (after all, Roger is his papy!) When Dom found out she scolded Roger (not like Roger cares) and took Dale from him. Roger was angry and decided to go drinking to forget what had just happened. Before he left, he snuck into Dale’s room & picked him up so he could go with him.
*a few minutes later*
*at Rory’s house*
Rory finally noticed Dale was gone. (she hadn’t noticed before cuz she was happy that Olivia was brought back safely) She told Joshua, and he went out to find Dale. He was sure where he would be, since Dale was like his papy. Then he set off on the adventure of a lifetime (not really)
*at Roger’s house*
Dom, who had brought Dale supper, noticed (obviously) that he wasn’t in his room. Then she began looking in various places like in the bathtub, under the couch, in the cupboards, in the washer/dryer, in the medicine cabinet, and behind the TV. She got the housekeeper to help her look. Then Joshua showed up. They were all looking for a few hours, then Rog & Dale came home. Dom freaked on Roger, but Roger told her to relax, cuz Dale didn’t actually consume alcohol. Dom was still angry so she took a chef’s knife and stabbed Roger. (just kidding) She just gave him the ‘cold shoulder’, which Roger didn’t dislike, he actually enjoyed not having to listen to her. Then he took Dale (and Joshua) on a roadtrip.
*
Meanwhile, Rory was still freaking out, cuz Joshua hadn’t called her or anything and she still thought Dale was lost. Then Olivia came and said, “Mother, I’ve written a book—I’d like you to read it!” Rory saw that it was 16 pages long, typed in 8 point font and double-sided. She passed out. (Olivia is quite the smart kid for a 5-or-6 year old…) Brian happened to stop by, so he moved Rory onto the couch (so she wouldn’t be laying on the floor) and read Olivia’s überlong story. The two quickly became good friends. They soon began writing a book together about stuff that only übersmart people would understand.
*Anyways*
Joshua, Dale, & Roger were still having fun. Good for them.
*later, back with everyone else*
Dom dropped by Rory’s place with some food. She revived Rory (by stuffing her with éclairs). Then they watched Hell’s Kitchen. It did not end well. They became angry with the people on the show and both threw random hard, dangerous objects at the TV. Then Rory took Dom to the zoo, because she had nothing else to do and all of her kids were gone. Then they realized Rory was pregnant with her 4th kid (she has been for some time now). She was supposed to have her baby a long time ago, so Dom brought her to the hospital. As soon as they got there, Rory started having her baby. She had twins—a girl and a boy. She called Joshua and when he found out he freaked, and rented a Ford pick-up truck to get to the hospital. From the place he was (wherever that was) it took him 39 minutes. They named their kids Agnes and Stevo. Just kidding. They named them Philip and Dana. Rory was ÜBERHAPPY but she told Joshua “NO MORE KIDS”. Joshua was also happy, and didn’t care about what Rory said. They didn’t bother telling the triplets. They were off having fun somewhere else anyway. Before you knew it, Rory was pregnant again. JUST KIDDING! She just passed out from überexhaustion. (aka she went to sleep ‘cause she’d just had twins) Joshua left, but Dom stayed to help take care of her grandchildren. Wow, that’s weird-ish.
*back to Rog & Dale*
Roger realized that Joshua had left. Roger decided to rent an überfastcar (the one they currently had wasn’t good enough for Roger) and crash into random stuff and go überfast, etc. He also thought it would be a good idea to teach Dale how to drive (maybe some day he’d become a famous NASCAR driver, just kidding! or not) However Dale failed because he’s only 5 or 6 so he is still übersmall. Too bad for him.
*with Brian & his best friend*
Brian & Olivia had just finished their first book—a science-fiction novel (complete with pictures!) ! It was only 150 pages long (not a very long book for Brian) but it was a big hit. They had to write many follow-up novels to satisfy the public’s craving for their awesome writing skills. The books then inspired a movie. The movie was a big hit. Brian & Olivia had ÜBERLOTS of $$. Olivia put most of hers in the bank, but she used some to buy stocks in Felix’s ÜBERCOMPANY. Brian used his to research stuff in need of researching and for his secret project!
*we’ll find out about his project later*
Carrie & John had built the world’s greatest computer, and had made lots of copies so Felix could sell them as ÜBERCOMPUTERs and make lots of money. The computers sold ÜBERFAST, and the ÜBERCOMPANY’s stocks got more expensive. (Good news for Olivia)
*to Rog & Dale*
When Rog found out about these überamzing things, he decided it was time him & Dale ‘joined the club’. Since Rog & Dale aren’t übersmart or übergood at building überstuff they were short on ideas. And then it hit him! They would make the ÜBERCLUB with ÜBERDRINKS & ÜBERMUSIC & ÜBERFOOD (like éclairs) & ÜBERLIGHTS (that are lovely) and MUCH MORE! They got to work ÜBERFAST, and even asked Lola to help. She said she couldn’t, because she was a body builder now, and she competed against other body builders in body building competitions. Okay Lola! Instead they tried to get Tigerlily’s help, but she was too stuck-up (so Roger hired Brian to smoke her in the head). Brian then told him “Stop bothering me, I’m working on a top secret project” and left (probably to work on the project). Then Roger called Felix, who brought many überthings to help build ÜBERCLUB. They got to work quickly, and Roger worked harder than he ever had before. His arms/hands/wrists were moving as fast (or faster) as Sheer Heart Attack (the song) Roger—live! !!:O!!
*anyways*
Olivia, needing something else to do with her oversized brain, took up violin, bassoon, and piano. She knew how to play all three excellently by the end of the week. When Brian found out, he hired her (as well as John & Carrie) to help him build his secret project.
Brian’s Secret Project:
Brian’s secret project is an überamazing time machine he’s been working on for some time now. When it is completed (and has passed all tests) he will go back in time to visit Freddie.
The four of them got to work quite quickly, and Brian worked harder than he ever had before…
*Rory time now*
Rory & her twins came home to find Joshua asleep on the floor in the baby room. He’d built two cribs (from scratch) and that made him tired. Rory told John that Joshua was good at building stuff, and John said “You don’t say!” then invited Joshua to come help build Brian’s not-so-secret project.
*later time*
Brian & his crew had finished the time machine. Now they needed to test it. They called Roger & Dale to help. Brian set the controls for 5 minutes in the past, and lured Roger & Dale into the time machine with cake. Then he sent them BACK IN TIME! Then, because Brian had included carefully written instructions that even Roger could figure out, the time machine came back. It worked! Yay! Celebration! Then another great idea came to Roger! He called Felix (who was still working on ÜBERCLUB) to make the time machine übertimemachine! Felix came over and said “This is ÜBERTIMEMACHINE!” and then the previously un-über time machine became ÜBER! Yay! Celebration! But then Chrissy appeared!!!! She came up to Brian and gave him a big hug and said “You’re really awesome! I’m your #1 fan!” then she went home to make vegetarian food & tofu waffles, Brian’s fave! Brian was happy, so happy he began jumping up & down! Quickly Roger joined him and Brian stopped shortly after cuz Roger is mental. Roger continued to anyways. monstertard. Anyways, Brian (satisfied that his time machine worked) went home for dinner. After dinner (which had his fav vegetarian foods) he brought Chrissy shopping but quickly found out that’s a bad idea. She bought lots of Queen’s concert stuff ‘cause she “wanted to see Brian in action”. Brian left her at CD Plus. Brian decided to go to Roger’s to hide from his wife. A little while later Roger came home, came into the living room (where Brian was) and collapsed. Brian stared at Roger, but soon lost interest. He walked off to the backyard to do some telescope-assisted stargazing. Roger (who’d been working too hard) really needed food & sleep. Unfortunately, he also needed to pee. Slowly, a warm yellow puddle formed around the collapsed Roger. Then Dom came in and said “Roger—what did you do!?” but when she got no reply she ran over to help him. First she stuffed him full of crepes, éclairs, and poutine. Then she cleaned him up and put him to bed. Little does she know, nobody cares. Then she went to Rory’s to help with the twins.
*meanwhile*
ÜBERCLUB was nearing completion. It was ÜBERAWESOME! The lights were almost as awesome as the lights during Queen concerts, and it was all of the best clubs, pubs, bars, etc. that Roger has been to put together (which, may I add, there is many he’s been to). It was simply fabulous!
*time for time machine*
Brian had had a wonderful idea! He would travel back in time & visit Freddie! As he was getting things ready, Olivia showed up & asked if she could go. Brian saw no problem with that, so the two went back to 1982.
*in 1982*
Brian & Freddie were having a good time. Before Freddie had a chance to object, Brian had stuffed him into the time machine. The 3 time-travelers then went back to whatever year it was when they left. Freddie was in the future. When Freddie got out of the time machine and saw the outside-future world he said “Wow, this place is a fuckin’ shithole”. Brian punched him in the back of the head. Freddie, who was not used to being bossed around by Brian, backhand slapped Bri in the face. Shutdown! All of a sudden John showed up… and fainted. Freddie was here! Then Roger followed soon after and said “What is Dom feeding me?” thinking he was drugged or something. Freddie flung his arms wide and said “Now I’m Here, darlings! Let’s party!” Then Roger took him to see ÜBERCLUB. Once again Freddie said “This place is a fuckin’ shithole!” Just kidding. Instead, he went to the bar and fetched himself a drink, and then pushed Brian into the “Grand Opening of ÜBERCLUB!” cake. “NOOOO!” screamed Roger (who’d forced Dom to bake it.) “Freddie, that was not your cake to destroy! You owe my wife an apology—and you owe me a cake!” Roger was quite upset, as he is a very big fan of cake. Since the cake was ruined anyways, Roger went over to it and started stuffing his face with cake… again. Freddie made good use of the opportunity and pushed the off balance, stuffing-cake-into-face Roger into what was left of the ÜBERCLUB cake. Roger continued eating the cake as he didn’t notice he had just been shoved into it, cuz Rog is dumb. The John began quietly chuckling. This angered Roger, who turned & threw a huge handful of cake at John.
*done with that*
Dom & Rory were having a fun time raising the twins. Philip was really cool, and Dana liked cats. They soon discovered Philip was a big fan of cold things like: ice creme, snow, pop/fudgicles, & milkshakés. Dana was one who always tried to grab attention.
*break from story*
Have you noticed how all of Rory’s kids (excluding Philip) are übersimilar to a Queen member?
*break is done*
Over at the ÜBERCLUB Roger & John were still having a cake war. Freddie, although thoroughly amazed, decided to leave. He went to Rory’s house, because he got lost on the way to some other place. When he saw Rory was old(er) and had kids he exclaimed “Holy shit!” Then he went to find something to eat. Whilst he was in the kitchen, Dana was wondering who that guy was. She crawled to the kitchen and tugged on Freddie’s pant-leg. He looked down at her and looked at her for a few moments, then decided to pick her up. Then, even though no one was there to hear him, he said, “It’s a beautiful baby, it’s not mine though” ok Freddie soon was bored so he walked over to the TV and put Dana in front of it. She got mad ‘cuz Freddie wasn’t giving her his full attention, so she started to throw toys & cry. Freddie tried to get Rory to get her to stop, but Rory was… well, not there. Instead he went back & picked her up. She stopped crying & snuggled into Freddie. Freddie glanced quickly from side-to-side, then ran away with Dana. He’d decided he wanted to have Dana, and he usually always gets what he wants. He soon discovered they were pretty similar even though they couldn’t really communicate with eachother cuz Dana= small baby. Freddie started becoming sad cuz he’s from the past. His sadness was soon forgotten when Dana found a guitar & pointed to Freddie, then pointed to the guitar. Freddie picked it up, and played Ogre Battle to Dana who become amused überquickly. After Freddie was done, he began playing Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Dana was ÜBERHAPPY!
*anyways*
Rory noticed one of her twins was missing. She called Joshua, but he was working on ÜBERCLUB still. Rory & Dom took Philip & went to look for Dana. After much searching, they returned to Rory’s. Just as they were coming to the front door, Freddie came out with Dana. Dom fainted from übersurprisingness & Rory did because she did. Freddie looked surprised (so did Philip) but he just left them there. He went back inside to read a book about Marie Antoinette.
*at ÜBERCLUB*
ÜBERCLUB was almost done being built.
*back to Rory*
After Rory regained consciousness she thought she should be a good responsible mother and find out where all of her children were, which seemed to be hard to do since she does have 5, and Joshua isn’t much of a help. First, she called John—maybe he knew where they were. She learned that he had Carrie, but didn’t know where the others were. Then she called Brian, who told her he had Olivia, and told her what they’d accomplished together (books, time machine, etc.). Then Rory called Roger. She though Dale would be with him, but not even Roger could remember where Dale was. The she called all of her (& Joshua’s) siblings, one-by-one. Nobody knew where Dale or Dana was. Rory became worried and decided to report them missing. For some time, no one reported anything about the 2 small children. Later on Joshua thought it would be a good thing to help his wife, and mother of all 5 of his children, find them. (he had been at ÜBERCLUB for some time now) The first place he looked was, of course, ÜBERCLUB, but no one was there. Then he had an idea & went to look at Brian’s time machine. He found Dale! Roger had left Dale (accidentally?) behind when they’d gone to the time machine. Then he went to his dad’s (John’s) house to see if he knew where the other kid was. It just so happened that Freddie had dropped by to show John ‘his’ real nifty kid, and that’s when Joshua showed up. He tried to take Dana, but she cried and punched him in the face, so he sold her to Freddie instead. Freddie became überhappy, then left to find a house for him & Dana to live in. After all, he had nowhere to stay. He remembered his old house, and went there. But he found other people living in it! He said (loudly) “What in the bloody hell are you doing here?” and did everything he could to kick them out. When they realized it was Freddie, they left, leaving most of their stuff behind. Then Freddie & Dana went inside.
*ok then, good for them*
Rory finally knew where all of her kids were. She took her kids (minus Dana) to the movies, then out for supper. Oh yeah, she took Joshua too. They had fun. Lots of fun. Überfun. Family fun.
*back to Dom*
Dominique was still lying unconscious in front of Rory’s house. Roger, who had forgotten this wasn’t his house anymore, tried to walk over her (instead of around) but tripped over her instead. He got up, got into his car, and left. Ten minutes later he came back with hundreds of glow-in-the-dark gnomes, and placed the on the lawn, putting the weirdest/creepiest by Dom. The he ran inside. Then he ran outside with a bucket of übercold water. He threw the water on Dom. Dom woke up screaming and nearly had a heart attack when she saw a bunch of glow-in-the-dark gnomes staring at her. The she realized Roger must have something to do with this. She saw him, trying to sneak away with his empty bucket, She yelled at him to stop walking away, then she ran after him. When she caught him, she shot him. Just kidding. She just threw him to the ground. *Btw, I’m not saying Roger is überweak, but when Dom is determined, there’s no stopping her* Roger looked at her with a blank stare. Dom pointed at him and then, with an evil scientist face, said “That wasn’t nice! You need to apologize!” Roger dumbly said “For what?” *here you realize Roger is dumb* Dom said what he did (there’s little point in repeating it) and Rog replied “I was just trying to help!” Dom smacked him on the head and went inside.
*anyways*
Rory & her kids (& husband) had a good time, an übergood time. Eventually, they left the place they went to for supper, and decided to go on a road trip. They passed a big ugly chicken purse and made the children go poke it with sticks. They heard angry roaring, and the kids ran away überfast. Suddenly, a gruesome grotesque sight appeared—ANITA DOBSON! She screamed at them & fell into a mud puddle. “Ha ha ha!” yelled the children. Then Anita burst into flames, whipped out a hugenormous pitchfork, and started chasing down the kids. Quickly, the kids jumped into their car/truck/van/bus/whatever they were taking on their road trip and Rory/Joshua/whoever was driving drove away überfast. They were on a dirt road so dirt flew at Anita. She continued to chase them down, and they soon got onto gravel and gravel flew @ Anita, lots of it landing in her hair. Soon it got heavy and she crashed into the ground. She broke through it (somehow) and got stuck, half in half out. Then THE (other) DEACONS drove off into the sunset.
*I bet you thought it was over. Well, it is. For now…*
author's question - how can Anita be on fire and still be covered in enough mud for dirt & gravel to stick to her? author's answer - because she's dumb.
*in Carrie land*
Carrie had gone to her grandpa John’s house to build electronic things. When John found out, instead of becoming ÜBERANGRY like Roger, he was ÜBERHAPPY! So happy, he bought her a Deaky inspired outfit (aka Deaky blue and tight clothing) Then, both wearing their designer Deaky clothes, they built a computer from scratch. They had fun. Lots of fun. ÜBERFUN! Computer building fun. Then after they were done they went out for an ice cream cake.
*the world of Dale*
Dale had been grounded for getting THE (other) DEACONS kicked out of the library. This meant he could not have friends over, go to friends’ houses, or have parties. When Roger heard about this, he snuck Dale out of the house unnoticed. Roger & Dale went to Roger’s house (wherever that was since he sold his house to Rory not long ago) and had a big party. Then Roger realized he had a big responsibility—he needed to keep family tradition! He told Dale dirty jokes (after all, Roger is his papy!) When Dom found out she scolded Roger (not like Roger cares) and took Dale from him. Roger was angry and decided to go drinking to forget what had just happened. Before he left, he snuck into Dale’s room & picked him up so he could go with him.
*a few minutes later*
*at Rory’s house*
Rory finally noticed Dale was gone. (she hadn’t noticed before cuz she was happy that Olivia was brought back safely) She told Joshua, and he went out to find Dale. He was sure where he would be, since Dale was like his papy. Then he set off on the adventure of a lifetime (not really)
*at Roger’s house*
Dom, who had brought Dale supper, noticed (obviously) that he wasn’t in his room. Then she began looking in various places like in the bathtub, under the couch, in the cupboards, in the washer/dryer, in the medicine cabinet, and behind the TV. She got the housekeeper to help her look. Then Joshua showed up. They were all looking for a few hours, then Rog & Dale came home. Dom freaked on Roger, but Roger told her to relax, cuz Dale didn’t actually consume alcohol. Dom was still angry so she took a chef’s knife and stabbed Roger. (just kidding) She just gave him the ‘cold shoulder’, which Roger didn’t dislike, he actually enjoyed not having to listen to her. Then he took Dale (and Joshua) on a roadtrip.
*
Meanwhile, Rory was still freaking out, cuz Joshua hadn’t called her or anything and she still thought Dale was lost. Then Olivia came and said, “Mother, I’ve written a book—I’d like you to read it!” Rory saw that it was 16 pages long, typed in 8 point font and double-sided. She passed out. (Olivia is quite the smart kid for a 5-or-6 year old…) Brian happened to stop by, so he moved Rory onto the couch (so she wouldn’t be laying on the floor) and read Olivia’s überlong story. The two quickly became good friends. They soon began writing a book together about stuff that only übersmart people would understand.
*Anyways*
Joshua, Dale, & Roger were still having fun. Good for them.
*later, back with everyone else*
Dom dropped by Rory’s place with some food. She revived Rory (by stuffing her with éclairs). Then they watched Hell’s Kitchen. It did not end well. They became angry with the people on the show and both threw random hard, dangerous objects at the TV. Then Rory took Dom to the zoo, because she had nothing else to do and all of her kids were gone. Then they realized Rory was pregnant with her 4th kid (she has been for some time now). She was supposed to have her baby a long time ago, so Dom brought her to the hospital. As soon as they got there, Rory started having her baby. She had twins—a girl and a boy. She called Joshua and when he found out he freaked, and rented a Ford pick-up truck to get to the hospital. From the place he was (wherever that was) it took him 39 minutes. They named their kids Agnes and Stevo. Just kidding. They named them Philip and Dana. Rory was ÜBERHAPPY but she told Joshua “NO MORE KIDS”. Joshua was also happy, and didn’t care about what Rory said. They didn’t bother telling the triplets. They were off having fun somewhere else anyway. Before you knew it, Rory was pregnant again. JUST KIDDING! She just passed out from überexhaustion. (aka she went to sleep ‘cause she’d just had twins) Joshua left, but Dom stayed to help take care of her grandchildren. Wow, that’s weird-ish.
*back to Rog & Dale*
Roger realized that Joshua had left. Roger decided to rent an überfastcar (the one they currently had wasn’t good enough for Roger) and crash into random stuff and go überfast, etc. He also thought it would be a good idea to teach Dale how to drive (maybe some day he’d become a famous NASCAR driver, just kidding! or not) However Dale failed because he’s only 5 or 6 so he is still übersmall. Too bad for him.
*with Brian & his best friend*
Brian & Olivia had just finished their first book—a science-fiction novel (complete with pictures!) ! It was only 150 pages long (not a very long book for Brian) but it was a big hit. They had to write many follow-up novels to satisfy the public’s craving for their awesome writing skills. The books then inspired a movie. The movie was a big hit. Brian & Olivia had ÜBERLOTS of $$. Olivia put most of hers in the bank, but she used some to buy stocks in Felix’s ÜBERCOMPANY. Brian used his to research stuff in need of researching and for his secret project!
*we’ll find out about his project later*
Carrie & John had built the world’s greatest computer, and had made lots of copies so Felix could sell them as ÜBERCOMPUTERs and make lots of money. The computers sold ÜBERFAST, and the ÜBERCOMPANY’s stocks got more expensive. (Good news for Olivia)
*to Rog & Dale*
When Rog found out about these überamzing things, he decided it was time him & Dale ‘joined the club’. Since Rog & Dale aren’t übersmart or übergood at building überstuff they were short on ideas. And then it hit him! They would make the ÜBERCLUB with ÜBERDRINKS & ÜBERMUSIC & ÜBERFOOD (like éclairs) & ÜBERLIGHTS (that are lovely) and MUCH MORE! They got to work ÜBERFAST, and even asked Lola to help. She said she couldn’t, because she was a body builder now, and she competed against other body builders in body building competitions. Okay Lola! Instead they tried to get Tigerlily’s help, but she was too stuck-up (so Roger hired Brian to smoke her in the head). Brian then told him “Stop bothering me, I’m working on a top secret project” and left (probably to work on the project). Then Roger called Felix, who brought many überthings to help build ÜBERCLUB. They got to work quickly, and Roger worked harder than he ever had before. His arms/hands/wrists were moving as fast (or faster) as Sheer Heart Attack (the song) Roger—live! !!:O!!
*anyways*
Olivia, needing something else to do with her oversized brain, took up violin, bassoon, and piano. She knew how to play all three excellently by the end of the week. When Brian found out, he hired her (as well as John & Carrie) to help him build his secret project.
Brian’s Secret Project:
Brian’s secret project is an überamazing time machine he’s been working on for some time now. When it is completed (and has passed all tests) he will go back in time to visit Freddie.
The four of them got to work quite quickly, and Brian worked harder than he ever had before…
*Rory time now*
Rory & her twins came home to find Joshua asleep on the floor in the baby room. He’d built two cribs (from scratch) and that made him tired. Rory told John that Joshua was good at building stuff, and John said “You don’t say!” then invited Joshua to come help build Brian’s not-so-secret project.
*later time*
Brian & his crew had finished the time machine. Now they needed to test it. They called Roger & Dale to help. Brian set the controls for 5 minutes in the past, and lured Roger & Dale into the time machine with cake. Then he sent them BACK IN TIME! Then, because Brian had included carefully written instructions that even Roger could figure out, the time machine came back. It worked! Yay! Celebration! Then another great idea came to Roger! He called Felix (who was still working on ÜBERCLUB) to make the time machine übertimemachine! Felix came over and said “This is ÜBERTIMEMACHINE!” and then the previously un-über time machine became ÜBER! Yay! Celebration! But then Chrissy appeared!!!! She came up to Brian and gave him a big hug and said “You’re really awesome! I’m your #1 fan!” then she went home to make vegetarian food & tofu waffles, Brian’s fave! Brian was happy, so happy he began jumping up & down! Quickly Roger joined him and Brian stopped shortly after cuz Roger is mental. Roger continued to anyways. monstertard. Anyways, Brian (satisfied that his time machine worked) went home for dinner. After dinner (which had his fav vegetarian foods) he brought Chrissy shopping but quickly found out that’s a bad idea. She bought lots of Queen’s concert stuff ‘cause she “wanted to see Brian in action”. Brian left her at CD Plus. Brian decided to go to Roger’s to hide from his wife. A little while later Roger came home, came into the living room (where Brian was) and collapsed. Brian stared at Roger, but soon lost interest. He walked off to the backyard to do some telescope-assisted stargazing. Roger (who’d been working too hard) really needed food & sleep. Unfortunately, he also needed to pee. Slowly, a warm yellow puddle formed around the collapsed Roger. Then Dom came in and said “Roger—what did you do!?” but when she got no reply she ran over to help him. First she stuffed him full of crepes, éclairs, and poutine. Then she cleaned him up and put him to bed. Little does she know, nobody cares. Then she went to Rory’s to help with the twins.
*meanwhile*
ÜBERCLUB was nearing completion. It was ÜBERAWESOME! The lights were almost as awesome as the lights during Queen concerts, and it was all of the best clubs, pubs, bars, etc. that Roger has been to put together (which, may I add, there is many he’s been to). It was simply fabulous!
*time for time machine*
Brian had had a wonderful idea! He would travel back in time & visit Freddie! As he was getting things ready, Olivia showed up & asked if she could go. Brian saw no problem with that, so the two went back to 1982.
*in 1982*
Brian & Freddie were having a good time. Before Freddie had a chance to object, Brian had stuffed him into the time machine. The 3 time-travelers then went back to whatever year it was when they left. Freddie was in the future. When Freddie got out of the time machine and saw the outside-future world he said “Wow, this place is a fuckin’ shithole”. Brian punched him in the back of the head. Freddie, who was not used to being bossed around by Brian, backhand slapped Bri in the face. Shutdown! All of a sudden John showed up… and fainted. Freddie was here! Then Roger followed soon after and said “What is Dom feeding me?” thinking he was drugged or something. Freddie flung his arms wide and said “Now I’m Here, darlings! Let’s party!” Then Roger took him to see ÜBERCLUB. Once again Freddie said “This place is a fuckin’ shithole!” Just kidding. Instead, he went to the bar and fetched himself a drink, and then pushed Brian into the “Grand Opening of ÜBERCLUB!” cake. “NOOOO!” screamed Roger (who’d forced Dom to bake it.) “Freddie, that was not your cake to destroy! You owe my wife an apology—and you owe me a cake!” Roger was quite upset, as he is a very big fan of cake. Since the cake was ruined anyways, Roger went over to it and started stuffing his face with cake… again. Freddie made good use of the opportunity and pushed the off balance, stuffing-cake-into-face Roger into what was left of the ÜBERCLUB cake. Roger continued eating the cake as he didn’t notice he had just been shoved into it, cuz Rog is dumb. The John began quietly chuckling. This angered Roger, who turned & threw a huge handful of cake at John.
*done with that*
Dom & Rory were having a fun time raising the twins. Philip was really cool, and Dana liked cats. They soon discovered Philip was a big fan of cold things like: ice creme, snow, pop/fudgicles, & milkshakés. Dana was one who always tried to grab attention.
*break from story*
Have you noticed how all of Rory’s kids (excluding Philip) are übersimilar to a Queen member?
*break is done*
Over at the ÜBERCLUB Roger & John were still having a cake war. Freddie, although thoroughly amazed, decided to leave. He went to Rory’s house, because he got lost on the way to some other place. When he saw Rory was old(er) and had kids he exclaimed “Holy shit!” Then he went to find something to eat. Whilst he was in the kitchen, Dana was wondering who that guy was. She crawled to the kitchen and tugged on Freddie’s pant-leg. He looked down at her and looked at her for a few moments, then decided to pick her up. Then, even though no one was there to hear him, he said, “It’s a beautiful baby, it’s not mine though” ok Freddie soon was bored so he walked over to the TV and put Dana in front of it. She got mad ‘cuz Freddie wasn’t giving her his full attention, so she started to throw toys & cry. Freddie tried to get Rory to get her to stop, but Rory was… well, not there. Instead he went back & picked her up. She stopped crying & snuggled into Freddie. Freddie glanced quickly from side-to-side, then ran away with Dana. He’d decided he wanted to have Dana, and he usually always gets what he wants. He soon discovered they were pretty similar even though they couldn’t really communicate with eachother cuz Dana= small baby. Freddie started becoming sad cuz he’s from the past. His sadness was soon forgotten when Dana found a guitar & pointed to Freddie, then pointed to the guitar. Freddie picked it up, and played Ogre Battle to Dana who become amused überquickly. After Freddie was done, he began playing Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Dana was ÜBERHAPPY!
*anyways*
Rory noticed one of her twins was missing. She called Joshua, but he was working on ÜBERCLUB still. Rory & Dom took Philip & went to look for Dana. After much searching, they returned to Rory’s. Just as they were coming to the front door, Freddie came out with Dana. Dom fainted from übersurprisingness & Rory did because she did. Freddie looked surprised (so did Philip) but he just left them there. He went back inside to read a book about Marie Antoinette.
*at ÜBERCLUB*
ÜBERCLUB was almost done being built.
*back to Rory*
After Rory regained consciousness she thought she should be a good responsible mother and find out where all of her children were, which seemed to be hard to do since she does have 5, and Joshua isn’t much of a help. First, she called John—maybe he knew where they were. She learned that he had Carrie, but didn’t know where the others were. Then she called Brian, who told her he had Olivia, and told her what they’d accomplished together (books, time machine, etc.). Then Rory called Roger. She though Dale would be with him, but not even Roger could remember where Dale was. The she called all of her (& Joshua’s) siblings, one-by-one. Nobody knew where Dale or Dana was. Rory became worried and decided to report them missing. For some time, no one reported anything about the 2 small children. Later on Joshua thought it would be a good thing to help his wife, and mother of all 5 of his children, find them. (he had been at ÜBERCLUB for some time now) The first place he looked was, of course, ÜBERCLUB, but no one was there. Then he had an idea & went to look at Brian’s time machine. He found Dale! Roger had left Dale (accidentally?) behind when they’d gone to the time machine. Then he went to his dad’s (John’s) house to see if he knew where the other kid was. It just so happened that Freddie had dropped by to show John ‘his’ real nifty kid, and that’s when Joshua showed up. He tried to take Dana, but she cried and punched him in the face, so he sold her to Freddie instead. Freddie became überhappy, then left to find a house for him & Dana to live in. After all, he had nowhere to stay. He remembered his old house, and went there. But he found other people living in it! He said (loudly) “What in the bloody hell are you doing here?” and did everything he could to kick them out. When they realized it was Freddie, they left, leaving most of their stuff behind. Then Freddie & Dana went inside.
*ok then, good for them*
Rory finally knew where all of her kids were. She took her kids (minus Dana) to the movies, then out for supper. Oh yeah, she took Joshua too. They had fun. Lots of fun. Überfun. Family fun.
*back to Dom*
Dominique was still lying unconscious in front of Rory’s house. Roger, who had forgotten this wasn’t his house anymore, tried to walk over her (instead of around) but tripped over her instead. He got up, got into his car, and left. Ten minutes later he came back with hundreds of glow-in-the-dark gnomes, and placed the on the lawn, putting the weirdest/creepiest by Dom. The he ran inside. Then he ran outside with a bucket of übercold water. He threw the water on Dom. Dom woke up screaming and nearly had a heart attack when she saw a bunch of glow-in-the-dark gnomes staring at her. The she realized Roger must have something to do with this. She saw him, trying to sneak away with his empty bucket, She yelled at him to stop walking away, then she ran after him. When she caught him, she shot him. Just kidding. She just threw him to the ground. *Btw, I’m not saying Roger is überweak, but when Dom is determined, there’s no stopping her* Roger looked at her with a blank stare. Dom pointed at him and then, with an evil scientist face, said “That wasn’t nice! You need to apologize!” Roger dumbly said “For what?” *here you realize Roger is dumb* Dom said what he did (there’s little point in repeating it) and Rog replied “I was just trying to help!” Dom smacked him on the head and went inside.
*anyways*
Rory & her kids (& husband) had a good time, an übergood time. Eventually, they left the place they went to for supper, and decided to go on a road trip. They passed a big ugly chicken purse and made the children go poke it with sticks. They heard angry roaring, and the kids ran away überfast. Suddenly, a gruesome grotesque sight appeared—ANITA DOBSON! She screamed at them & fell into a mud puddle. “Ha ha ha!” yelled the children. Then Anita burst into flames, whipped out a hugenormous pitchfork, and started chasing down the kids. Quickly, the kids jumped into their car/truck/van/bus/whatever they were taking on their road trip and Rory/Joshua/whoever was driving drove away überfast. They were on a dirt road so dirt flew at Anita. She continued to chase them down, and they soon got onto gravel and gravel flew @ Anita, lots of it landing in her hair. Soon it got heavy and she crashed into the ground. She broke through it (somehow) and got stuck, half in half out. Then THE (other) DEACONS drove off into the sunset.
*I bet you thought it was over. Well, it is. For now…*
author's question - how can Anita be on fire and still be covered in enough mud for dirt & gravel to stick to her? author's answer - because she's dumb.
