The Stories (of Uberness)

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The UBERSTORIES were created by me and one of my friends, and sometimes with the help of some of my other friends. It is a story that is about the members of Queen (the band), their kids, friends, etc. It is in no way supposed to be making fun of any of them. Sorry to Brian, Roger, or even John if you happen to stumble across this and take offense. Please try not to. We don't hate you or anything. You guys just gave us something interesting to write about. 

Please take note - the people in these storys are CHARACTERS that are based on real people. They aren't supposed to be 100% like the real people. Some things are the same, like the fact that Roger's voice explodes ear drums, and Brian has big hair, but other things are completely made up. Some characters are made up too.  

If you read the stories, the best thing to do would to start from the beginning (as in part one) of the Roger Meddows Taylor stories. Basically, if you read them in the order they appear on the site they'll make sense (with the exception of the Uberstory of Uberkid, which takes place after everything.) Even if you know next to nothing about Queen, it will make some sense to you if you read all of the stories. Plus, it will make you more awesome (and it might make you laugh)

Also, as you read the stories, you will probably come across some typos and/or sentences that make no sense. Me and my friends are re-reading the stories to try and fix those, but there is a lot to read, so it is likely that we will miss some.The characters in the stories are not the same in real life. Roger's actually a pretty smart person. Brian's probably not quite as smart in real life as he is in the story, as he's not yet invented anything like a time machine, etc. John... well, I'm not sure about John. He probably can't tolerate as much pain in real life as in the story. (Sorry for the beatings, John. We don't actually hate you or anything. In fact, we think you're pretty awesome. UBERAWESOME even, with your cool Deaky Dance and intense bass lines/solos.)To my knowledge Roger's not married to Dominique anymore, and Chrissy & Brian aren't married either. I am pretty sure John and Veronica are still happily married. (In real life, of course.) 

Before reading the stories, please pay attention to the following points:
1.      No kittens or pools were eaten in the making of these stories
2.      The stories are filled with (mostly) fictional content (like, 99%)3.      The stories are in no way trying to make fun of the members of Queen
4.      If you read each story at least once, you are überawesome
5.      These stories are not to be reproduced/republished without permission from the authors
6.      Consequences of not following No. 5 will result in you having to live the rest of your life unawesome & unüber
7.      If you are in any of the stories DO NOT be offended. Very few people get the chance to be in a story-series this überawesome
8.      These stories are meant to be funny and to make you laugh. If you don’t think they are funny, you’re not überawesome
9.      Please DO NOT be mistaken. All of Roger’s, John’s, and Brian’s kids’ names are their actual names (except the children who are born during the story. They aren't real.) Fifi Trixie-Belle is also a real person.
10.  Kitty Faith Moon Cookie Taylor is not a real person (I sure hope not anyways) She dies early because she was lacking lots of awesomeness.
11.  Some people in the stories ARE NOT REAL! Some examples are: Katie Johnson (or KJ), Bo Duke, Kitty Faith Moon Cookie Taylor, and the Fat Comic Book Guy (from the Simpson's)
12.  Roger is not as dumb as the stories make him seem. The kids are not as dumb as the stories make them seem either (to my knowledge anyways)
13.  Tom Cruise & Penelope Cruz were not eaten in real life
14.  The kids don’t eat many of the things they eat in the stories in real life (like kittens, or pools. Or ubereclairs, because there's no such thing in real life... yet.)
15.  DO NOT TRY SOME OF THE THINGS AT HOME such as: running after the ice cream truck with several broken bones, get medical help IMMEDIATELY; beat kids with pool cues; eating chalk, pools, kittens, mental sandals, people, cellphones, etc.; have Roger’s children; look at Anita; and
especially
wear übermental überdorktastic übertacky sandals.
16.  911 will not actually hang up on you (they shouldn’t anyways)
17.  If someone you know or love had a stroke, breaks several bones, falls into a coma, etc., bring them to the hospital right away
18.  So far, at least to my knowledge, you can’t bring people back to life from the dead in real life. Once they die, I’m sorry to have to tell you this but, they stay dead.
19. To fully enjoy the stories, you must not think too hard about things. PEOPLE DON'T ACTUALLY GET EATEN OR OTHERWISE   HARMED! Don't take things too literally. Try and read it the way you'd watch a cartoon -- open minded and ready to laugh your ass off. The people who get hurt in this story are probably ok in real life.
20. You will probably notice it says "uber" a lot. Well, these are the uberstories, and the uberstories would not be uber, without the word uber. If you don't like it, too bad. Some 'uber's don't have uberdots, but that's just because we're too lazy to type them properly. You will still like the stories. If you don't I will give you 5252375208946724306825 invisible, unusable, not real at all dollars. But you will like them. Oh yes, you will (unless you're mental, and not in a good way... no offense). 

If you'd like to share your comments, please
e-mail us at
uberstories@hotmail.com . Any comments would be nice, good or bad. Just don't ask us to put you in a story (unless you are one of John's Brian's or Roger's kids, and we somehow didn't know you existed, although I highly doubt that's a possibility.) 

More stories coming soon!